Church Of Euthanasia Decided To Stop Promoting Death So They Can Grow In Numbers

 August 02, 2002

News in a flash—The Church of Euthanasia—a church that promotes anti-procreation, abortion, suicide, and ultimately, extinction of the human race—decided to backpedal from its purpose to give their church a chance to proliferate. Having members that are so devoted to its cause have resulted in the eventual demise of the church itself. They have killed themselves, aborted their babies and even murdered others—resulting to the rapid decrease of members and funds. Its founder, Chris Korda, realized that for them to be heard, they should grow in numbers by procreating, recruiting new members, and by keeping themselves alive; as such, they can stay on and convince more people to kill themselves. Korda was optimistic about the development, albeit pictured to be quite befuddled as he chases his own tail. At press time, their members are still waiting for him to kill himself so they can award him the upmost echelon of sainthood.