Stiff Penalties Await Passengers Farting On Airplanes

 February 26, 2018

Farting days on airplanes may be over. This is the prevailing message sent across the airline industry during a meeting among airline and airport operators on Friday. A proposition was pushed to acutely penalize passengers farting during flights after an infamous flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had been beaten to emergency landing in Vienna due to some passenger's incessant farting. "These kinds of circumstances lead to millions of dollars in loss each year, it has got to stop," World Federation of Aviation, Vice President of Operations and Administration, Malcolm Arnett said. The Federation aims to implement strict prevention of farting incidents through inspection at airport security level, to boarding doors through rigid inspections, and ultimately, lashing penalties against those who choose to defy the regulation on flights. Customs will be checking passengers for flatulence and those who are suspected of concealing the prohibited gas will be invited for questioning. Dozens of fart-detecting equipment and fart-sniffing canines will also be brought in especially in major airports. "I think it's great that they're taking these security measures, it's for our own good anyways," said Ella Diaz, a jet-setter and a non-flight-farter. The Federation is expecting to see a drastic decline on flight-farting and an increase on pre-inspection farting. "We expect to see (or smell) more people getting rid of illegal gas by breaking wind inside airport airspace prior to inspection--they're better off doing that at home," Malcolm Arnett said. "Those who fart inflight better hope they're adequately skilled to get away with it, because we will smell you and we will find you. You will be deboarded and face up to $20,000 in fine and up to 12 months in prison," Arnett savagely warned.