Trump On Denying Sexual Affair With Pornstar: She Had Me Mistaken For Someone Else

 January 21, 2018

President Donald Trump has shrugged and denied allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a pornstar under the screen name of Calmly Daniels. According to reports, Trump's lawyer allegedly brokered $130,000 hush money to Daniels. The pornstar in return has kept the alleged deal promptly, even releasing a written statement that the alleged sexual encounters never occurred as soon as the news broke out. The only problem is, she's already shared the experience in a magazine interview before the alleged deal was made. Ms. Calmly Daniels, an adult movie actress, has probably nothing to lose and everything to gain in this controversy. Donald Trump on the other hand, we are not sure. The president however, was gracious enough to answer questions surrounding another of his controversies. "Here we go again, people accusing me of something I didn't do," Trump said. "I'm the 45th President of this country, you never know who she's had sex with. She could have done it with Clinton, Bush, or Obama--I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was Obama," the president stated. "She has clearly mistaken me for someone else. She's obviously done it with someone else and thought it was me, though I wouldn't blame it on the poor girl. These people, they think all white guys look the same," Trump, referring to pornstars. When mentioned that Daniels said that the sex was "generic" and "boring," Trump was almost instantly certain. "It has got to be Bush," the President inferred with a grim smirk. "Melania, baby, it was Bush," he added.