Please find herewith a collection of little nuggets of literary fun you can share on your favorite social media every day. You will surely rack up the "Likes," laughing emojis, and whatever digital nods human ingenuity is capable of conceiving. Each one of these is desperately better than posting an enhanced photo of yourself, the places you've visited and pretended to enjoy, and all of your subtle attempts at relevancy. I was going to say "You're welcome" to imply I've dealt you a favor; however, knowing how busy you think you are, I will say thank you for reading this entire paragraph.
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- A penguin can swim faster than I can. I can run faster than a penguin. So, in a triathlon, it would come down to whoever is the better cyclist.
~Anonymous
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- At work, allow yourself 8 hours of uninterrupted peace and relaxation before starting your day.
~Anonymous
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- I’ve just made a list of all the things that can be put off until tomorrow. That’s enough work for today.
~Anonymous
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- When people ask me “Plz” because it’s shorter than “Please”, I tell them “No” because it’s shorter than “Yes”.
~Anonymous
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- Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
~Anonymous
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- Patience is what you have when there are too many witnesses.
~Anonymous
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- I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
~Anonymous
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- It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
~Anonymous
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- The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.
~Abraham Lincoln
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- Don’t expect me to stop if you’re broken down by the side of the road. You were offered an extended car warranty several times.
~Anonymous
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- Here’s a question for the mind readers out there.
~Anonymous
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- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
~Anonymous
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- The misuse of the word literally makes me figuratively insane.
~Anonymous
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- In filling out an application, where it says “In case of emergency, notify,” I put “Doctor.”
~Anonymous
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- My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not.
~Anonymous
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- My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
~Anonymous
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- How am I supposed to make big decisions when I still have to sing the alphabet in my head to get the right letter?
~Anonymous
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- I’m at that awkward stage between birth and death.
~Anonymous
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- The only thing worse than ‘the one who got away’ is the one who won’t go away!
~Anonymous
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- To me, drink responsibly means don’t spill it.
~Anonymous
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- Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.
~Anonymous
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- I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they’ve never seen one of his paintings.
~Anonymous
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