If you think your body is too good to hide underneath clothing, viciously rip your top apart and leave it to drape in threads, pretend you've been mugged, and walk around establishments like that.
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Diseases come from food, don't eat. Arguments start with talking, don't talk. Accidents happen while doing something. Do nothing.
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Loathe those you know doing charity! It is their self-serving intentions that motivate the act. Praise those you never heard of doing charity, for they could be doing it in high secrecy.
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To old people telling stories, please always follow your first sentence with, "Have I already told you this?" Chances are, you already have.
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Drivers who did not drink but still crashed must be extremely terrible drivers. They should be banned from driving.
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If you don't spend all of your time at work where there's also a couch you can sleep on, how can you expect your career to grow?
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When it gets dire financially, remember that you only need one kidney.
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Smelling farts has major health benefits according to studies done by health experts. It's not a joke, just mature talk. If you are a health nut who forces his kids to eat vegetables they don't like, there's nothing to lose and everything for them to gain.
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Weapons are destructive. They should only be used for intimidation.
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When you don't do your number 2's at home anymore because you now prefer doing them at work every day is when you really know you've made it in life.
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"I plan to do nothing." For some reason, this prompts people to urge you to abandon your plan to be in theirs. They're terrible people and should be avoided.
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Vegetarian pizza. It's quite worse than it sounds.
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, "Is this the person I can hate for the rest of my life after ten years?" If the answer is yes, then you're ready.
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Lazy people learn from the mistakes of hard workers. Hard workers learn from their own.
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Lazy people who sleep in contribute to uncongested streets, a safe environment, and a society diminished of quarrels and conflicts. Guess who's responsible for the opposites?
