Great men and women throughout history have imparted words, and more shall grace us with their attempt at wisdom 'til infinity. As such, whether by intention or prevalence of inanity, these literary and verbal gems are consequently an amassment of funny. May these persons be in the ranks of a nation's stern leader, an immortalized poet, an influential billionaire, or simply a schmoe of great notoriety—let yourself be humorously edified by them in successive short bursts like the esteemed reader here deserves. And rest assured, it is out of hope at the least that this shall lead you out of these pages a wiser and fiercer life warrior than before.